On Turning 40

I turned 40 last week and I now have come to the mid-point (on average) of my life here on earth. Eternal perspective aside, I allowed myself to succumb to the worldly neuroses that accompany this event. Two years ago, I convinced myself that my mid-life crisis would center around something loud and shiny preferably with a name like "Fat Boy" or "Big Dog". Now I'm not so sure. After all, I can ride a Harley anytime, provided I learn the necessary skills to stay on one for more than 8 seconds.

In the last week, I found myself introspectively going over the last 40 years. Without question, the last 9 1/2 are the best! I married the most wonderful man on earth (yes, once again, I am biased) and God used him to make me realize I am one of the chosen and I am loved so deeply and so thoroughly that I'm granted eternal life. But wait, there's more. I've got the greatest family anyone could ask for. No, my Mom and Dad aren't Ozzie and Harriet. As a matter of fact, they're more like Morticia and Gomez, but even as morbid as Morticia and Gomez are, there are two things they couldn't hide from the world; (1) their love for each other and (2) their love for their kids. It took a couple of tumultuous years before I realized just how much I love my folks.

It also took a few hard knocks and a long stubborn streak to understand just how good life can be. For all intents and purposes I should be dead and roasting in hell. I was once married to a man who was unfaithful and indiscriminate with his sexual partners. By the time we divorced, he had publicly admitted to having 8 affairs, mostly with gay men, during the two and a half years of our so-called marriage. To this day I cannot comprehend why I am not, at the very least, HIV-positive or suffering from some kind of sexually transmitted disease. I also, at one point, faced the business end of a .22 special, at point blank range. Talk about staring death in the face. For whatever reason, the young kid couldn't pull the trigger and I ended up with a shiner instead of my face being blown off.

In retrospect, I choose to believe that God, in both instances and many more just like it, has chosen to preserve me. And as I enter my 41st year here on earth, I find new resolve. Instead of giving in to the maudlin prospect of getting old and decrepit and wallowing in mid-life crises that are yet to occur, I find myself being grateful for all that I have and all that've experienced. Because of God's love I am experiencing another year of life. And yes despite the busyness of it and all the tasks that "need to be done", it is a good life full of joy and love. Praise God!